author

Adrift

James (Adrift)

Mortal Man

Adrift

By: James Dickerson

Optimism is new to me. I stopped having expectations some time ago and have learned to let life be.
— James Dickerson

This year I found myself breaking up with and wanting to get over what I thought was the  traveling path of my life. I left behind someone I should’ve held tighter to. Had an emotional fling that I’m still sore about - my first time engaged in intense desire; so intense that I broke my own rules involving women with significant others. And financially, as a single father, I found myself struggling to live on the pedestal I placed the responsibility to my sons on. Sleepless nights wrote my story after so much happened in so little time. 

I would think: what is the point of a sunrise if all you see is darkness? Every day felt the same. I became distant at work. The idea of friendship is a struggle and my kids wonder if I’m okay. What it meant to be a photographer in a non-traditional way was lost because of inconsistency. Prior to full time employment I was able to split my time on the street as an urban documentarian with my time as a clerk at a library, making enough noise in both respects to keep everyone happy. Almost everyone. The dissolving of my relationship with the mother of my children forced me into a full time spot at work. And then things started to die.

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Part of the problem was giving too much of myself to sustaining troubled waters. I needed still waters. I sought still waters, but aimlessly. Living for the satisfaction of others is not mentally healthy when you avoid your own health in the process. The darker life became the more I contemplated the wrong things. I told myself that the “end” would be a loss for everyone. I thought about my kids and what that would mean for them to lose their father, and a thread tightens and yanks me back a few feet from the edge. Their sadness I’d never want to face even in death. 

My relationship with them is strong so I have to survive for them. I have to survive for them. Fatherhood is keeping me alive. 

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I’m not the type to enter into the year with resolutions but I think about them. With their succession, how does the future feel a year older? If I hit every one would I die a better man? From one year to the next they ranged from weight loss, financial responsibly, a healthier relationship, and a home to raise my boys in. All the things I wished for when I was with their mother are still the things I wish for after. 

There’s something to be said about existing on the same page. Our story could be told together, written without ending, but our conflicts with each other prevented any real growth after 12 years. I don’t regret the loss of time but I regret the lack of growth.

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I doubt that I’ve truly healed from the strains of this break up. My nuclear family had a meltdown. We both assumed blame but still lacked growth. I tried dating after her and while that had its strengths, I was definitely its weakness. I left her feeling as lost as I was. That made me a bad guy. 

The bigger question is if I feel what is in my soul is for me. I don’t want the crash and burns to define my life. Nor the hang ups of emotional flings. “I want more life.” She shared that with me when I was having a rough moment. A phrase from a play that slips my mind. I debate whether our relationship was karmic in nature; that we taught each other something in the process. I did learn that I don’t want to be alone. But the bigger part I learned was that I never want to be who another man feels will destroy his happiness. But am I allowed to make that mistake in the process of growth?

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I don’t know how to end the year within this essay because my life is still changing. I may have written the most cryptic piece for the Mortal Man series. At the same time someone may pick this out as a resonating segment among others. Optimism is new to me. I stopped having expectations some time ago and have learned to let life be. However, as my life wraps up, I have a small amount of hope that’s always existed. It’s pushed me forward when permanent sleep was all I dwelled on. 

Let me experience internal peace, God. Just once, even if we aren’t friends.

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James Dickerson

Adrift

Son | Father | Brother | Photographer | Author | Real Life Documentarian

I met James on instagram. I admired his photography and reached out to him when I knew I’d re rolling through his hometown of Toledo, Ohio. Though it was our first time meeting our conversation was deep, intense, personal… REAL.

You can keep up with James on instagram at:

@dirtykics

James’ street photography is also featured on Wassuprockers’ “The Room” and can be viewed online here.

Meet Dr. Cleavon Matthews Sr.

One of the perks about being a photographer is the wide range of people that I get to meet and establish relationships with. In this series I feature a few people that I have met and photographed recently that I think you should know.
— Aaron Paschal
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Dr. Cleavon Matthew Sr.

Minister, Leader, Author, Orator, Counselor and a Guiding Light

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This past summer I had the pleasure of meeting and photographing Dr. Cleavon Matthews Sr. at Bold Believers Church of Christ. As a photographer it’s important to me to tap into people’s personalities and what stood out to me about Dr. Matthews was his passion, commitment and positive spirit.

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Dr. Cleavon Matthews Sr. is also a prolific leader, orator, communicator, and author. He is highly sought after and accomplished as a person of influence locally, nationally, and internationally. He serves as Chairman of the Midwest Conference of Churches of Christ. He is academically accomplished having obtained the Doctor of Ministry degree from Amridge University. He is also a Registered Nurse and a Licensed Professional Counselor. Through his ministries he continues do extensive work in church consulting and premarital counseling. He has written several publications including two books: Get In The God Zone and Unmasking The Satanic Attack Against Masculinity. He ministers to the Bold Believers Church of Christ in Dayton, OH.

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If you are looking for a church to visit or a new church home I encourage you to visit Bold Believers Church of Christ located at 1306 Salem Avenue in Dayton, OH.

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You can learn more about Dr. Matthews and the Bold Believers Church of Christ on their website https://www.nthwcoc.com/ or by following their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/boldbelieverscoc/

Church grows out of its space, finds a new place to call home

By Beth Anspach | Dayton Daily News

Over the years, churches have transformed themselves. Congregations of believers meet in private homes, in open fields, in tents or in expansive sanctuary buildings. But the one thing they have in common is each group comes together to worship and share their shared beliefs.

Dr. Clevon Matthews moved to Dayton from Orlando, Fla., 15 years ago because he saw an opportunity to lead a church he believed would be a better fit for him and his family. What was then known as the Northwest Church of Christ on Broadway Street in Trot wood had been a gas station when the small congregation bought the building in 1981.

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“As the church grew, they ran out of space, but it served us well,” Matthews said. “The building sat on four acres, so we investigated the possibility of building on the property.”

Matthews said a new church building was cost prohibitive for the small congregation of 300. But about two years ago, he was introduced to the Solomon Foundation, an organization headquartered in Colorado and devoted to helping churches reach their ministry and growth goals by providing low-interest mortgage and construction loans.

“They (Solomon) specialize in taking older properties and remodeling them for churches,” Matthews said. “After we applied and were approved, we started looking around for existing properties.”

In 2014, Matthews happened to be driving a guest minister around Dayton to show him the area and was explaining about their efforts to expand the church. As they were driving, they noticed a vacant property on Salem Avenue, formerly the home of the Beth Abraham Synagogue.

“I remember thinking at the time that this would be a great place for our church,” Matthews said. “But I put it out of my mind.”

Three years later, a member of Matthews’ congregation, a real estate agent, took him to see the same property, which had been a conference center for a Baptist Church, but had since been vacant again for the past four years.

“I could see it as soon as she brought me in,” Matthews said. “The building has very good bones. Of course, it needed TLC and renovation, but it had a good layout and infrastructure.”

Matthews knew that to grow his congregation, he would need more visibility. The former gas station in Trotwood was difficult for people to find.

“Being right on Salem Avenue gives us the visibility we need to have greater impact,” Matthews said. “The church was on board with the move and we had the resources to do it, so we took the bold step and closed on the property in January of 2017.”

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The entire congregation worked together on the renovations beginning that spring and the new church was completed the last week of June this year. Now christened the “Bold Believers Church of Christ,” the congregation has room to grow in 45,000 square feet, up significantly from the 7,000-square-foot building in Trotwood.

“We removed old seating in the sanctuary, did cleaning and landscaping, got rid of flooring and moved furniture, put in a new HVAC system that is more efficient and put in new plumbing,” Matthews said. “We also put on a new roof and had new parking lot paving done and painted inside and out. We have a new sound system and sanctuary seating and it’s amazing!” Matthews said his personal vision for the new building is outreach and he wants it to be not just a place to have church on Sundays but also a community center as well.

“We want it to be used every day of the week,” Matthews said. “One component is to have a counseling center. My wife is a licensed counselor, as am I and one other member, so we want to have a space for that. We also want to offer a pre-K program in the future and have another space for banquets and community events.” Matthews said he sees the church not as a building, but as its people, so he wants it to be a beacon of life and hope with his focus is on the counseling center and the needs of the Dayton community at large.

“I’m talking about suicide prevention, crisis response, partnering with Montgomery County Juvenile Court and looking at how we can help families and parents in meaningful and practical ways,” Matthews said. “We want to address violence and poverty in significant and meaningful ways.”

 
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Dr. Cleavon Matthew Sr.

Minister, Leader, Author, Orator, Counselor and a Guiding Light

BOLD BELIEVERS CHURCH of CHRIST

1306 Salem Avenue, Dayton, OH 45406

937-985-9320

boldbelieverscoc.com

Meet Emerald Sparks

One of the perks about being a photographer is the wide range of people that I get to meet and establish relationships with. In this coming series I will feature a few people that I have met and photographed recently that I think you should know.

Emerald Sparks

Financial Strategist, Public Speaker, Author, and a Spark of energy!

I originally met Emerald at a cover shoot that I did for Ambition Magazine. As a photographer I pick up on people’s energy right away and I noticed that not only did Emerald have a lot of positive energy but that it was contagious! When she contacted me to schedule her session I was excited to work with her and to create and capture images that would accurately represent her and her brand, “which are really one and the same!”

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About Emerald

I solve Misconceptions about money

Emerald has helped everyday people, just like you, become extraordinary money masters by maximize their income to make it do what they wanted it to do. Collectively, she has helped her clients pay off $100,000+ of debt, invest in real estate properties, and purchase $65,000 dream cars.

She got her start at Fortune 500 companies such as Deloitte & Touche’, Liberty Mutual Insurance, Fifth Third Bank, and Northwestern Mutual. She has seen it all in her 12 years in the financial service industry and now helps people live financially healthier lives through personalized curated budgeting and debt repayment strategies.

She’s helped her clients increase their money mindset and start living the life they want to live financially, while eliminating creditor harassing phone calls, sleepless nights, and underwhelming bank accounts. She created her business to help people live financially healthier lives and maximize their income, while living in balance.

Emerald is also an Author!

  • Create Sparks: A Bossed Up Financial Planner to Maximize Your Income
  • Vision. Future. Reality: How to Budget Like a Boss

session notes...

sessions with AP2 are stressful...

During Emerald’s session we talked about our respective businesses, goals, places she’s been and future travel plans and we may have laughed a few times! 

 

Emerald has used the images from her session on her website and social media accounts to create printed and digital promotional material for speaking engagements and media releases.

    engage with emerald!

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    Emerald Sparks

    learn more about Emerald by visiting her online @ emeraldsparks.com

    Connect with Emerald on social media!

    facebook: esparks10

    instagram: @ShzAGem

    twitter: @EmeraldSparksES

    linkedin: Emerald Sparks

    LORE

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    Mortal Man

    Lore

    by: Ty Greenwood

    Currently, my work centers on toxic Black Masculinity and the negative representation of Black Men in media, television & film and other visual rhetorics. I argue that Black Males are voiceless and invisible, groomed not to ever show their emotions, groomed into a vision of hyper-masculinity heightened by the media, but even more so by their own environment. Therefore, it is time for an INTERVENTION and BLACK REVOLUTION that showcases positive portrayals of Black men that are not damaging to their identity, existence and Black bodies. The associations built around masculinity include: white, powerful, heterosexual, college educated, upper class, strong, tough, aggressive, sexually dominant, ripped body and the list goes on and on. This concept has shaped and molded the way Black men are viewed and the unrealistic standards conjured by white people.

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    The Black male experience today has become one inflicted with fear imposed by the seemingly never ending police killings of Black men. Black men are at risk. The same qualities and values that white people have placed on Black masculinity are the same ones killing them today. Black men can’t breathe, walk down the street, go into a convenience store without being feared, followed and or killed. Black bodies are adding up. The qualities of being aggressive, thugs, criminals, ghetto, uneducated, drug dealers, sexual assaulters, professional athletes, sex symbols, the Black muscular body,  deadbeat fathers and unprofessional, are just few of the commonly publicized descriptions in today’s media and various other forms of rhetoric. Thus, when it comes to the Black performance it is nothing more than a minstrel puppet show that is being composed by white people and sold to white audiences who buy into a false sense of what being a Black man really is. It is time for this to end. How many more Black bodies have to be sacrificed for it to really mean something?

    Black men can no longer be a sacrifice and killed off senselessly and carelessly. Who will protect the innocent Black boy who is walking down the street to the candy store? Who will protect the innocent Black boy who goes to college and must deal with all the white faces that don’t understand him? Who will protect the innocent Black men when the white cops who are suppose to protect them murder them in cold blood and leave their bodies on the street for all to see? WHO WILL PROTECT OUR BLACK MEN? 

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    An excerpt from my short play, “LORE”:

     

    DAD:  So, what color is Sasha’s dress?

    JR.: It’s an African print dress. 

    DAD:  African print? She ain’t African, hell she barely black!

    JR.:  Dad!

    DAD:  What?

    Jr.: turns his back to his dad and approaches the clerk’s desk

    CLERK:  Hi, can I help you?

    JR.:  Yes.  A pick up for Jeffrey Cole Jr. 

    The clerk goes to the back. He comes back with a long dashiki in a gourmet bag. 

     DAD:  What the hell is that?

    JR.:  It’s called a dashiki, dad.

    DAD:  A what? That’s a damn dress!

    CLERK:  The dashiki is a colorful garment for men widely worn in West Africaand other parts of Africa as well.

    DAD:  Sir, I know what a dashiki is, I grew up in the 70’s but this is a damn dress! I’m not paying for that shit! Jr. you’re suppose to wear a suit to prom. A tailored, fitted suit.

    JR.:  Dad it’s not a dress. Just think of it as a long t-shirt. And look it even comes with pants.

    DAD:  A long t-shirt? This is prom not a sleepover. And if that’s what you’re planning I can tell you right now Sasha ain’t gonna give up nothing with you in that shit.  Uh-Uh. Excuse me, sir? Where are your suits?

    CLERK:  We have suits over to your left, but we wouldn’t be able to have it tailored in time for your son’s prom. I’m sorry sir.

    JR.:  Dad would you stop embarrassing me?

    DAD:  Embarrassing you? Jr. you’re embarrassing me! Picking out a damn costume to wear to prom. What the hell is wrong with you?

    JR.:  It’s not a costume, dad, it goes with Sasha's African dress.

    DAD:  Why the hell are you two even wearing this African shit? Ain’t neither of you African. Let me guess, you saw it on tv.

    JR.:  Dad this is in style! They wore these back in your day!

    DAD:  Back in my day men wore suits to proms and formal, son. Hell a tux even. But this shit here, NO!

    JR.:  What is the big deal?

    DAD:  The big deal is that you don’t understand the purpose of tradition. You leave out of the house everyday wearing pants off your ass and clothes too big for even me but tonight of all nights you’re supposed to look like you have some sense. We have family coming over and I am supposed to sit there and just smile while you come down stairs looking like the Prince of Zamunda? I’m not paying for that. I trusted you to come to the store, pick out something sensible, didn’t even give you a price limit because this is your day…

    JR.:  If it’s my day then why are you trying to control everything?

    DAD:  Jr., listen to me, you are going to wear a suit to this prom. We can pick out a dress shirt to go with your black suit at home. And we can find a nice tie.

    JR.:  Dad that’s not want Sasha wants. She wanted us to wear/

    DAD:  I don’t give a damn what she wanted. It’s not happening!

    JR.:  But Dad/

    DAD:  I’m not paying for you to wear some dress to look like a little bitch Jr. If you want it, you pay for it.

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    This is the third and final entry in Ty’s three part series. The others can be read by clicking on the following links:
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    Ty Greenwood

    I Danced With Death

    Writer, Poet, Actor, Director, Teacher, Student… MULTIFACETED

    twitter: @ty_greenwood

    instagram: greenwood26

    facebook: Ty Greenwood

    email: greenwoodet26@gmail.com

    "please be sure to comment below to continue the conversation, offer words of encouragement or to share your story."

    what is woman?

    leroy bean

    this guest blog is by leroy bean, author of the love and theory of womanology. 

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    a spoken word poet  from dayton, ohio starting my new artistic journey as leroy bean. after being apart of underdog academy for over 2 years, i have had the opportunity to perform at many colleges and universities such as ohio state university, ohio dominican university, university of cincinnati and more. i was the 2017 litfest poetry slam winner for the university of dayton and was chosen to be published in both their orpheus and writ literary magazines. i am the host of the underdog academy's expressions open mic and now i am finally releasing my second chapbook - the love and theory of womanology.

    this complete project includes a chapbook with 37 poems, including a 7 poem series, 16 haiku's, and a pantoum. also includes an audio book that isn't your traditional read along on tape. the audio book is all put together over instrumentals to provide a completely separate experience from the chapbook itself even though the poems have not changed. one gives you room to implement your own imagination and the other sits you in the center of my imagination and feel for the project as a whole and the individual poems.  i've always approached my poems from a different perspective; creating story's or satirical poems to get my point across.

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    in december 2016 I was inspired by music, conversation, and just consistent signs pointing me down this path to create a chapbook dedicated to woman. after reaching a new point on this journey for developing a better understanding for love and compassion for all life, i realized that i have been blinded by my male privilege. from the experience as a black male in america, i have witnessed oppression first hand and was able to transfer that comprehension to the relationship between man and woman. it was made clear to me how much of a habit sexism was alone and although i did not install this way of thinking on my own, it is still my responsibility to recognized my mistakes in order to grow as a human. this lead me to build a chapbook, metaphorically giving woman the power that was bestowed upon men, "in the beginning", with genesis by characterizing god as a woman that not just created but gave birth to the universe. also emphasizing on the characteristics that woman are deemed weak for, such as their love and support. also bringing important woman characters to the forefront such as mother nature, eve, and the roll of "the mother" in american society.

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    upon the ending of the books creation it dawned on me that if i really wanted to help influence as much of the community as possible then I would have to bring the book to life. this lead to the event, "what is woman?" where I teamed up with ap2 photography and ted's own big dave to help bring the vision to life; men using their platform to help bring shine to the woman's perspective and experience. although this is a release event for my new chapbook, the book is far from being the face of the event. this premium art experience showcases nothing but the strength and struggles of women. using the power of art and it's influence on people, we dedicated paintings and photo shoots to the diverse beauty of woman and counter the countless shaming that society puts on women that don't fall within it's standards. what is woman? showcases female vendors and performers to portray the wide-range of talent that women have. It will be held in a business owned by a woman to show their strength and intelligence. what is woman? will challenge the audience with that very title by having a panel discussion to assure that the voice of the woman is heard. even if it is only in front of 50 to 100 people, i know it will still be effective because at the end of the day, communication leads to solutions and  seeds will get planted to initiate a ripple of change in the minds of the future. 

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    what is woman will take place satuday, september 2 at third perk coffeehouse & wine bar in downtown dayton, ohio at 7:00pm. tickets are limited and are available to purchase on eventbrite, “includes the option to preorder the book as well.” 

    cleavon by prophessorx

    merely a man

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    last night i had the honor and pleasure of attending my brother – cleavon’s (known to many as x or prophessorx) book release launch at third perk coffeehouse & wine bar in dayton, oh. to say that I’m proud of x would be an understatement. i’ve been fortunate enough to witness and observe a lot of growth and confidence in x as a man as well as in his poetry and writings.

    the chapbook is titled: cleavon by prophessorx and consists of 20 different poems/haikus that are captivating, powerful, unapologetic and emotional. x performed a selection of these writings in front of a crowd of family, friends and fans of his work leaving them inspired and eager for more.

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    If you are interested in purchasing a physical or ecopy of the book “which i highly recommend,” you can do so on his website proph3ssorx.com or by contacting him directly at proph3ssorx@icloud.com.

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    follow x on his website: proph3ssorx.com on instagram @proph3ssorx and on soundlcoud.

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    there’s a destiny that makes us brothers; no one goes their way alone. all that we send into the lives of others comes back onto our own.
    — brotherhood

    cook's row

    by: rachelle smith

    the line of store fronts are all smoky bbq, clattering feet and saxophone jazz.

    on this busy NOLA street i hear a trumpet tribute as i twist the sign to “open” on my tiny eatery.

    i wrap my head in a white scarf and pray by the door.

    i want the spirits to eat just as well as we do.

    ooo! ooo! ooo!

    that gumbo appetite heat wave riot.

    tap tap a full glass of water with ice.

    summer air as spicy as my rice in tuesday’s blue special.

    cook’s row is all people shadowy pavement with clustered conversations.

    rat tat tat of a snare.

    “giiiiirl!” from across the street there.

    smell the louisiana breeze.

    new as today.

    old as voodou.

    taste all the home cooking stories you hear.

     

    rachelle smith

    is a spoken word artist residing in dayton, ohio. words are her passion. her poetry and short stories are inspired by personal experiences, spirituality and the drive to move the reader emotionally. chelle also is an author, grade school teacher and graduate of miami university with a b.a. in creative writing.

    connect with chelle: instagram - @sculpchelle | twitter @sculpchelle